Give.

Give.

“To freely transfer the possession of something to someone.”

“To cause or allow someone to have something.”

“The capacity to bend or alter shape under pressure.”

Google Online Dictionary

This season. Fall. November. This word. Give. Is everywhere. The checkout stand at the grocery store. A child’s classroom. An end-of-year giving campaign. Around a decorated dinner table.

To some. This word brings fear or maybe a sense of uncomfortability. Because behind this word. Give. Is an expectation. An obligation. To step outside themselves into a place of vulnerability. As if standing in an open courtyard. Exposed.

To others. This word brings warmth and joy. A sense of belonging to a bigger community. Of having a bigger purpose other than just living in their life’s bubble. Maybe even an opportunity to freely do what they live for doing.

Either way. Regardless of where you land. Give. Giving. Requires us to take action. Requires us to place ourselves in a position of lowliness. Relinquishing our pride. Offering a piece of ourselves. Material or otherwise. Extrinsic or intrinsic. To someone else.

Now. What if. You. Add another word to give? Grace. Give grace.

Think. Ponder. Take in those words. Give. Grace.

That can be one of the hardest things to do. To give grace. To someone who has hurt you, Wronged you. To someone who not only does not deserve it. But would never appreciate it.

Yet that IS the definition of grace. Undeserved favor.

Let me offer another twist. To the word give.

What happens. When you. Say. Flip it? Turn the word give. And direct it towards yourself. Not in a selfish or arrogant or accumulative way. But in a kind and gentle and loving way.

Is that something you can do? Give. Give yourself permission. Permission to rest. To say no. To stop for a bit. To heal. To fight.

And for yet another plot twist.

Let’s go back to the combination of those words. Give. Grace.

Give grace.

Then add yet another word. Give myself grace.

Give. Me. Grace.

From me. To me.

That is ever so much harder.

If you are anything like me. Giving grace to myself. My mistakes. My anger. My hurt. My past. My present. My future. My reactions. My responsibilities. When I drop the ball. Speak an unkind word. Mix up days and time and words. Sometimes. It is almost impossible.

Ingrained in me is a poison. Planted there from a young age. I will do everything myself. I will not ask for help. I can and will do it all. I must be perfect. At. Everything.

As a result. Giving grace. Giving myself grace. Does not come easily. If I have placed the bar of perfection over myself. Then how. How could I ever offer myself grace? Grace for my mistakes and anger and hurt and past and present and future and reactions and responsibilities and when I fall short.

Now. Some of the most powerful words. I am learning.

I. Am. Learning.

I am learning how. How to give myself grace. The grace I would offer others. Offering this gift to myself.

I am not as consistent as I’d like to be. I am not as kind to myself as I’d like to be. I am not as patient with myself as I’d like to be. But I am learning. To love myself. To be myself. To give grace. Grace to myself. Give myself grace.