To loosen from entanglement: straighten out
This word. Untangle. Brings back memories of my mom combing through my hair. As I yelled and screamed and threw such a fit you would think someone was beating me. I could be quit a brat at times. And this was probably when I was at my finest in brattiness.
I have never liked having tangles in my hair. Even now. One tangle can put me in an instant foul mood!
I don’t like the sharp pain. The forced pulling. The breaking that seems to inevitably come with tangles.
But. If my mom didn’t. If I do not. Deal with the tangles in my hair. Those little knots. They become massive wads of snarled tumor-like balls that need to be cut out. And that option. It really is much more painful than taking the little bit of time. The little bit of pain. The little bit of annoyance. To deal with a small tangle.
I have spent much of the last two years in the process of being untangled. Memories. Emotions. Experiences. Who I am. All of it. Being. Untangled.
See. I never really knew I was tangled. The tangles were so deep. So far removed. It wasn’t until I started look at one area of my life, that the tangles appeared. Yes. Tangles. As in plural.
And the process. Has been excruciatingly slow. And deliberate. And painful.
And as soon as it appears that something is untangled. And I think, “I’m done!” That untangled piece leads to another. Another snarled, messy, pile of emotions and triggers and memories. So back to the beginning of the untangling process I go.
But I have learned a lot during this untangling process.
First. You have to be still in the untangling process. Just like when I was a kid. The more I fought against my mom’s gentle hands, the more it hurt and pulled and broke. When God says, “Be still and know that I am God” in Psalm 46:10, He is serious. So many times during this untangling, I have tried to hurry the process along. I’ve pulled at the knots. I’ve jumped in and dug through the snarled piles. Only to make things worse. But when I’ve stopped. Stilled. Hands to my side. Palms open. And let God do His job. That’s when the untangling happened. When the healing happened.
Second. You cannot do the untangling process alone. I let myself believe the lies that I had to do everything by myself. This is not a "by myself" kind of process. I have had to learn how to open up to the people God has placed alongside me in the process. Let them in. Let them see the tangled mess. And trust.
Third. You are never done. I guess none of us ever are. There is always more to learn. More to grow. Because “being confident in this, He who began a good work in you will carry on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” Philippians 1:6.
And He is going to keep on untangling me. And you.
Comments