Women.

2/5/23

I was at a restaurant the other night, and there was a group of women in the bathroom. My age or maybe a little older. They were laughing and saying the craziest things. It didn’t matter if there was someone else in the bathroom. Their comments and jokes were for each other. Their bond, obvious. Because you would only say these jokes. These comments. Within your circle of friends.

As another woman, I connected with their words. Laughing along with them. What was coming out of them were words any woman could relate to. The bond between them to speak in such a way, would resonate with most women.

Walking through the restaurant. Back to my family. I continued to smile. At the freedom to speak and share and engage that these women exuded. The comfortability within each others’ presence. And I began to think of the friendships between women.

I have been so incredibly blessed with my friendships throughout my life. Each having left their mark. Their words and wisdom. Or maybe. Sometimes. Loss and pain.

Interestingly enough. I spent some time with a friend that same evening. She spoke words. Phrases So profound about the types. Kinds of friendship. She said: Friendships. Some are for a reason. Some are for a season. And some are for life. And how true that is! Though, there are times, I wouldn’t want or even acknowledge the truths in these words.

I’d like to believe that every deep and close friendship will automatically be a lifelong friendship. But so many times, that isn’t. That hasn’t. Been the case.

I can identify the friends for a reason. Look back with lessons learned, may they be ones of healing and growth and joy. Or the tough or unwanted or head-shaking lessons. Good or bad, each one was for a purpose; and I am better for them.

The friends for a season. Now, for me, I have a hard time with these. I can look back on some with smiles and laughs and memories, knowing that even though that season is over, it ended well. But for others. Those memories of smiles and laughter. Those memories hurt. Bring tears. Bring confusion. As to why they were for a season. And why I had no say so when that season came to an end. Why they didn't end well.

Life. Friendships for life. I think everyone of us longs for that kind of friendship. The Ruth and Naomi. Ruth who would not leave her mother-in-law in the state she was in. The Jewish midwives. Who, together, refused to bow to Pharaoh's edict to kill all the male babies. Mary and Martha. Sisters who did daily life next to each other. The women at the cross. Who mourned and wept with each other. We search. We hope. We pray for these friends-for-life’s.

Yet. It can be so elusive. Sometimes our friend for life becomes the friend for a season. Each going our own way. Summer skips to winter. And I’ve had these. More times than I want to believe. And I hate to say it. But they still sting. The laughter and memories and smiles. Smart when they come to mind.

However, I have learned something. When I can separate the smarting and stinging of now and focus on the laughing and smiling and memories of the past. I can view them as what they really are. Even though they may not have turned out to be friendships for life. And they were instead. Friendships for a reason. Friendships for a season. And that season and those reasons did bring joy. Did bring growth. Did bring laughter. Are wonderful memories. Memories that can still bring smiles.

These women in the bathroom I encountered. Though I didn’t even know them. They were for a reason. To help me see how important our friendships with other women are. Whether for a reason, a season, or life. Each is valuable. Each has its purpose. Each are treasures and blessings from our God who values friendship.

“As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of a friend.”

Proverbs 27:17 (NKJV)

I am thankful for those friendships that sharpen me, and I pray I can do the same for them.